Update as of Saturday April 21, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is such a beautiful day. I hope everyone is outside enjoying it!

We have posted a lot less frequently in the past months. A friend of mine said, “You need to post so we can keep those prayers coming!” I am grateful to have this site to come to and post when I feel I need to talk or have something to say. It has been very healing for me to be able to do that. I don’t ever like to force the words, and I’m not one to detail each day. There is so little time in the day for us it seems. Maria has needed us greatly in the past couple months and we are trying to spend every moment we can with her and together as a family. Please understand how appreciative we are to all of you for your concern and prayers. You have all been so wonderful to us! We know how much you love Maria and we will try to post when we can. I ask that you continue to pray for Maria always- even without a post. Prayers are always needed here. Now, more than ever.

The week after Easter we all caught the rotavirus. This was hard on Maria as she could not keep anything down. Dehydration is never good with a brain tumor. We have been focusing on strengthening her and getting her better. The virus took a toll on her and increased the number of symptoms we have been seeing. It has been slow moving but she has shown signs of improvement. We are concerned for her. We do, however, remain as upbeat and joyful as possible, trying not to despair because it will bring no good and we know God wants us to put our trust in Him. Whatever happens will be God’s will and we want to work with Him, not against Him. We are hopeful. I continue to ask God for complete healing. I look to Him to show me the way. We have turned it over to Him. I know she is in the loving hands of Someone who loves her more than we could ever imagine. I always hope that He will allow her to remain with us. No one knows, but Him.

Thank you for your continued prayers for Maria always.

Love,
Ed and Megan

Update as of April 10, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Just a quick but important message that we wanted to get out to everyone. I had the opportunity to meet with Robert Indian of the State of Ohio Health Department. He is the one heading up the Leukemia study for Avon Lake. He has been working in the past year and a half and has gathered a lot of data in regards to Avon Lake and childhood cancer. He is going to have a report out in July with all the details.

As a separate study, he is taking a closer look into all the children’s cancer in Avon Lake. He wants to reach out and talk with every family whose lives have been affected by childhood cancer. So here is what you can do to help. He is going to do a detailed study of every child (15 years or younger at the time of diagnosis) who has had cancer diagnosed while living in Avon Lake from 1994 up through April 15, 2007. He will meet and talk with all of them if they so desire. The only catch is he has to know about them in order to include them in the study. He needs to know who these children are in order to get a better understanding of the numbers. So, we need to help Robert Indian and get him the following information no later than April 15, 2007. We only have 5 days. Please email the foundation with as many children's information as possible. Send the following information to info@prayersfrommaria.org :

Name of Child
Type of cancer
Date of Diagnosis
Address
Phone number

No family has to participate. Robert Indian will contact them to discuss details and ALL information will be kept confidential. He would still like the basic information so that he knows about all the cancers, but you don't have to participate. If you don't want to email this information to the foundation, you can call him directly. Email us for the phone number so that not just anyone will call.

Please send this information ASAP. Even if you don't know all the information, please send us what you do know. You don't have to be living in Avon Lake today, just on the date of diagnosis.

Please call, email and talk with everyone you know in Avon Lake today. We need this information to make sure that the information is accurate.

God Bless,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Sunday April 1, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Thank you to all of you who are checking in with us on our one-year anniversary since diagnosis. Palm Sunday. It is a special day for us and we thank God for the time He has given us with Maria. We are celebrating life today, and we hope that you do too.

Maria’s attitude and the love that she shares are better and stronger than ever. She continues to draw the most beautiful pictures for us and she laughs a lot. We love hearing that laugh. Marc Quayle, Sophie’s dad, was over the other night for dinner and when he got here he asked where Maria was and I told him she was outside playing. We both smiled and he pointed out what a beautiful thing that is, and he is right. We are so grateful to God for each day and every little thing that comes with it. Maria is outside playing right now as I write this post. She just stepped in to get a grocery bag because she is going on a “nature walk” with her friend next door. My smile is from ear to ear.

We continue to prepare for whatever may come our way. A couple of Maria’s symptoms have gotten slightly worse, but we remain joyful, hopeful and positive. It is important to us that the atmosphere surrounding us stays upbeat. No, it isn’t always easy. I struggled a bit at Church this morning, but my good friend said to me, “Believe, Megan. Just believe.” And that is right. If we believe, things will be ok, no matter what the circumstances.

So there may be a few more of those cold winter days left, but we’re looking forward to the Spring.

God bless all of you and thank you for your continued prayers for Maria.

Love,
Ed and Megan

Rosary at St. Raphael's for Maria and Sophie

Please join us in saying the Rosary on Friday, March 16th at 12:00 p.m at St. Raphael's Parish in Bay Village.

The Rosary will be held for the healing and protection of Sophie Quayle and Maria McNamara. Maria McNamara, a first grader at St. Raphael's, and Sophie Quayle, an Avon Lake resident, both suffer from a very serious brain tumor.

If you can't make it to the church then please say a rosary or prayer for the girls on Friday.

Update as of Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Hello Everyone,

I know there are quite a few of you out there that have heard by now and, yes, the news is true. There is a beautiful little 3 ½ year old girl named Sophie who was just diagnosed with a diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma on Ash Wednesday (Feb. 21st). We knew she lived out in our neck of the woods but did not realize until Ed and her father, Marc, spoke that we live within yards of each other. A short cut-through our neighbor’s backyard. It is shocking to us that such a rare brain tumor (150-200 diagnosed/yr.) could be diagnosed so close to another. It certainly raises questions in everyone’s mind, especially with Avon Lake’s cancer history. We must be diligent and look into this, but there should be no panic.

We have had the pleasure of meeting with Sophie, her little sister and Mom and Dad to help them in any way that we can. They are wonderful people and I instantly felt that we would be friends for life. You can visit Sophie’s site at www.smilesforsophie.com. They left for St. Jude’s last Monday. Sophie starts her radiation treatment this week. Please keep them in your prayers during this extremely difficult time.

The foundation we have started is so important. I cannot stress this enough. There is very little being done to fund a cure for pediatric gliomas. Any doctor you talk to about Maria’s type of tumor is stumped. They just don’t know much of anything about this tumor at all. As I watch Sophie and her family begin their journey, I can’t stand the helplessness of it all. Something has to be done. Please consider donating to our foundation or sponsoring a fundraiser. We are going to see that something IS done about this.

I don’t know why all of this is happening. I don’t know why we are where we are. I just don’t understand the big picture. I think about it often and I am overwhelmed. I have to keep going back to my faith in God or I would be despondent. Seeing Sophie and her family brought back the reality of it all. When I look at Maria, her symptoms, though mild, are there. She is having slight double vision out of her right eye and an ever so slight droop of the mouth on that side. Her laugh and hugs, though, are still the best in the world. Thank God.

When we say our prayers at night at the end I always ask, “What do you want to thank Jesus for?” and Maria, without hesitation, says “my tumor” every time. She is such a beautiful thinker. Way beyond my years. I am stunned that she thanks God for her tumor. Then I ask, “What do you want to ask Jesus for?” And she says, “I’d like to ask Jesus to take my tumor away.” Thank goodness. Please hear our prayers, Lord.

We do love St. Jude’s, but as most of you know they’ve been doing a major advertising campaign on TV showing personal stories. It is for such a great cause. The only thing that went wrong, though, is Maria was watching TV and for some reason Ed and I were both out of the room for a second and Maria flipped on one of their specials and a child was dying from a brain tumor. What are the odds? I heard the boys come into the room and Maria scolded them saying, “You need to get out of here. This is too scary for you to watch.” I called out to Maria and I asked her what she was watching and she came into the room crying, saying, “Mom there was a boy at St. Jude’s with a tumor and he was dying! Am I going to die?! I’m too young to die! I don’t want to die!”. I was so caught off guard but instantly reassured her. You’re ok right now aren’t you Maria? You have gotten better. Don’t worry about things like that. Jesus is always with us and as long as we know He is with us we are going to be just fine. She eventually recovered, but only with some permanent wounds. Even still, she thanks God for that tumor.

I feel like the luckiest Mom in the world because God gave Maria to me to care for and to love. He must love me so much to have put such a beautiful flower in my life. She brings me so much joy and happiness. Maria often stops and tells me for no particular reason, “I love you Mom” “You’re the best Mom in the whole world.” I just don’t feel worthy, but it makes me feel so good inside. There is no better treasure. No better gift. I can’t bear the thought of living without this or living without her. So I beg God to please show mercy. Touch her and heal her. She has so many beautiful and wonderful gifts to share.

I have to believe. I have to pray. I have to hope. For me, there is no alternative. I will not give up. I am Maria’s mother and she can draw her strength from me. I will never give up on God’s ability to deliver us from this painful ordeal. When Jesus and His apostles are in the boat and a storm kicks up and winds are thrashing the boat about, the apostles become frightened and they wake Jesus. He calms the storm and asks them, “Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?” Fr. Tim says instead of focusing on the hurt and the pain, focus on Christ. That is where I will rest my eyes—on Him. I will cling to Him. I will put my trust in Him. But, He is a merciful God and wants us to bring our requests to Him, so I will ask God: Please, let her be with us for years to come. Let her get on the school bus with her brother in the fall. The two of them are so looking forward to it. Let us always be able to hear her funny laugh and her silly jokes. I need to hear these. I need to color and play Polly’s with her. I need our talks and our special times. I need her little arms wrapped around my neck. I need to watch her grow. I need her here. You don’t want me to despair Lord, but to put my faith and trust in you. That is what I am doing, but not without asking You to please show mercy. Know that I not only trust in Your will but also in your never-ending mercy.

Now, during Lent, during this special time of the year when God’s graces are so abundant, I ask each of you to pray as hard as you can for Maria. Lift her up. Ask God to place His healing hands upon her and show His never-ending mercy. Ask Him to pull the bad cells right out of her head. Envision it. Believe in His power to do this. Please ask Him for this, and don’t ever give up. We must always be hopeful, and wait for God to show us the way.

Thank you to so many of you for being such an inspiration to me. When I think about how many of you have chosen to reach out or to take action to help us and others I am humbled and I learn from you. John Gentry (aka Trucker), you are an amazing man and I thank you for the work you are doing for our foundation. The event you have planned for June 16th is really something. We will be posting more details on our foundation’s site to come so everyone please check it out.

God bless all of you and thank you for your continued prayers for Maria.

Love,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Thursday February 1 2007

Update as of Thursday February 1, 2007


Hello Everyone,


Time just keeps flying by.

Maria is still doing well. It has been 2 months since we received very bad news that our time is limited with Maria. As we told you, we were not supposed to have a great Christmas or January. Well, Maria is still dancing, singing, laughing, telling jokes and playing with her brothers, everyday. We cherish every second of it and we thank God for it. Thank you for your continued prayers.

I don’t know if it is her age, or her life experiences, but Maria is a comedian. She tells more jokes than I do at a bad alcohol induced Christmas party, AND she is funny! Just yesterday, she interviewed her best friend at the bus stop because it was the first time Morgan was at the bus stop before any of her sisters. Megan kept saying I can't believe Morgan made it to the stop first today. Well, Maria wanted more information and used her reporting skills. So, like a good reporter (or comic) Maria asked the tough question with her thumb microphone in hand, “So, how does it feel Morgan?” No comment from the bus stop star.

Maria is the best little 7 year old girl in the world. This picture is Maria in the Nine West store with mommy trying on hats. She did not buy this one, but I wanted her to.

Quick story time. Last week, Maria and her brothers made mommy and daddy breakfast. It was soooo cute. We closed our eyes and were guided into the kitchen for the great surprise of homemade, gourmet, Cheerios! With milk! We ate like royalty and Daddy had to clean up afterwards. I don’t know how I got that job, but it was worth it.

On a more serious note...Today we ask for your prayers for a very nice family who just lost their beautiful little girl, Kate, (January 27, 2007) to this horrible tumor. If you remember one of our previous posts, Kate is the only other child we have actually met in person with Maria’s diagnosis. We met her and her mother Colleen at St. Jude. Please pray for sweet Kate, her Mom and Dad and twin brother Erik.

Just_before posting today, we learned about another child we lost. John J Lipski (January 31, 2007) JJ’s family has been a great resource for us in following many other children and their progress. They have also been a pillar of strength, love and prayer. Please pray for JJ and his family.


Foundation update –

Thank you to everyone for supporting our new foundation! The response has been incredible and we are very excited about the future. We are so grateful to the numbers of you that are willing to donate your time and talents. We will be contacting all the volunteers accordingly.

We have added a “wish list” of some top items that we are looking for. Check out our GetInvolved link to see how you may be able to help.

Thanks to all of you for your continued support and love.

God Bless,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Thursday 11, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Maria’s 7th birthday and we thought the perfect day to announce the establishment of our new nonprofit organization, the Prayers From Maria Foundation (see: http://www.prayersfrommaria.org/ ).

There aren’t many people who realize that pediatric gliomas are the second leading cause of cancer deaths in young people and 85-95% of these children die within the first five years of diagnosis. I had never even heard the word “glioma” before Maria.

After Maria’s diagnosis, Ed and I frantically searched medical journals, books, articles and the Internet for any sign of hope that we could cling to that might possibly save our daughter’s life. What we uncovered was that childhood glioma (brain tumor) research was grossly underfunded, and there was no organization acting as a clearinghouse or translator of the state of research for newly diagnosed families. There is simply not enough being done to find a cure. It is unacceptable for a child who is perfectly healthy one day to be told that she has months to live the next.

As a mother I can’t rest in my heart knowing this information and knowing that I have the ability to do something about it. Ed and I have continuously thought about our role in the midst of this. We have tried to open ourselves to God’s plan and how we are to participate in it. I believe many successes have come about in medicine for the betterment of all because those who have been personally touched by an illness have decided not to sit on the sidelines, but to do more.

The Prayers from Maria Foundation is charged with funding research into a cure for childhood gliomas, and to advocate for families with such conditions. Initially, it is our goal to gather enough funding to provide grants to research institutions that can demonstrate how they plan to best use the money to find a cure for this child-killing disease. Eight of the very best doctors and biomedical researchers in this area have agreed to be on the foundation’s advisory board. Based on their knowledge and the research that the foundation will fund, we plan to create a destination for newly diagnosed parents to access the most up-to-date information regarding glioma research and options for treatment. Eventually, it is our goal to offer financial assistance to parents without the means to get the best treatment available for their child.

With these ambitious goals, fundraising will be a major concern. So many of you have generously reached out to us personally and for that we are so grateful. Ed and I will be transferring the balance of our Prayers for Maria fund to the foundation. We did not actively seek any funding in the past, but we now begin to do so for the foundation. While individual donations will be greatly appreciated, we will focus predominantly on two areas for fundraising, and can use your help: (1) corporate donations and (2) events.

First, we would appreciate any help in securing corporate donations. The Prayers from Maria Foundation is now established as a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation, and we have an experienced governance board, as well as a top-notch advisory board in place. We have also established a grant proposal review process (modeled after the National Institute of Health) to make sure we fund only promising research that focuses specifically on childhood tumors.

Secondly, we have witnessed the power of the various events that were held in Maria’s name - from children holding bake sales to bikers riding in poker runs – and we plan to carry on with this type of activity to fund research. We will keep you posted about our upcoming “Kids Curing Kids” campaign, and we encourage you to help us think of events, hold such events, and perhaps volunteer your time.

If you are interested in volunteering, making a donation, or finding out more please visit http://www.prayersfrommaria.org/.

On our website, we post various children affected by some form of glioma. These are beautiful children you’d see next door. As we worked on the site we had to keep updating that section as children continued to pass away on a regular basis. This is the harsh reality of gliomas. We have to stop this from happening.

Thank you again and again for all of your love and support.

Love,Ed and Megan

Update as of Monday, January 8, 2007

Hello Everyone,

We want to thank all of you for being so wonderful to us. I am glad that we have a comments section on the site so each of you can witness how much kindness and love comes to our family from so many different people in so many different places. I wish I could share with all of you what I receive from people on a daily basis—kind beautiful letters, cards and phone calls, support and encouragement from those that just want to help in any way they can, meals for our family, thoughtful gifts, loving words from people we know and people we don’t, so many children from toddler to teenager praying for Maria and reaching out to her with so much love in their hearts. Numbers of people who tell us how their lives have been personally touched by Maria’s story. Not a day goes by where we are not the recipient of some act of kindness. I personally have never felt such an outpouring of tremendous love like this before and I want all of you to share in it because it is truly something miraculous in and of itself. I see God at work here and I feel so blessed and lucky to see Him so close up through so many of you. In the midst of the chaos that we often see in this world—there is so much HOPE.

As you know, our last trip to St. Jude was filled with devastating news. Each trip to a hospital brings so much anxiety. We live our life at home from day to day maintaining as much normalcy as we can. We get into our swing and then it’s time to go back to the hospital where talking about the reality of a very deadly disease and our daughter seems to surround us and squeeze out every bit of happiness that we have. Trying to stay above the fray can be very challenging as you sit in an examination room surrounded by the walls of a hospital. Sitting in the exam room waiting for the results of the MRI can be nerve wracking. We sit and joke around with Maria and keep the conversation happy and upbeat as best we can. When the nurse came in and asked Maria if she wanted to go into the other room to color, my heart sank and I knew that it couldn’t be good. Dr. Gajjar soon walked in and confirmed “it isn’t good.” He then went on to tell us that the tumor had grown and Maria would not be here next year. He estimated that she had maybe two to three months left. Current relapse treatments are far from promising. He did not mix words. He is a good man and offered us any help or assistance he could provide. My initial reaction was what do we need to do next to safeguard her, to protect her. We have to do something. My insides hurt. Dr. Gajjar took us to view the MRI and I wasn’t able to hold back my tears any longer. I just wanted to go and be with Maria. To hug her and to kiss her and never let her take one step away from me—ever. I got myself together mentally as I went back to see her. She was sitting at a table chatting away with Dr. Gajjar’s nurse, Valerie, and a Child Life Specialist. She was entertaining them, and me, as I listened to her funny story about her brothers. Always so smiling and unaffected. I could see touched hearts in the faces sitting with Maria. They knew. Their jobs must be so difficult, but how lucky they are to work with the warriors they meet at St. Jude.

Out of any of our trips to St. Jude, this one should’ve been the one that broke me, but instead I looked at Maria and I knew I was not going to give up hope. I’ve written to all of you about struggling for an inner peace and I believe in my heart and soul that it was God who gave it to me that day. For the first time ever I felt true peace. I was comforted and filled with more hope than ever before. As I have told many of you, if Maria was given full knowledge of her prognosis I know she would look at me and say “Mom, don’t you ever give up on me.” And I never will. God tells us not to despair and so I remain hopeful. You can NEVER give up hope.

I hope that by knowing our experience we are giving back to all of you in some small way for your never-ending prayers for Maria. When Maria was first diagnosed I immediately knew Prayers for Maria are what we needed right away, because I very much believe in the power of prayer and what it can do. All of your prayers have made such a difference in our lives and I really believe they are helping Maria.

Maria is back in school now and happier and more energetic than I’ve ever seen her. She is going to celebrate her 7th birthday on Thursday the 11th of January. All this at a time when they thought she’d be in a hospice state. I can’t say what tomorrow is going to bring, but we are very happy today and I will never stop believing in hope and the power of prayer.

I am so grateful to all of you for your prayers. Your prayers have spread like wildfire from one person to the next and I know it has done so much for my daughter. How do we thank you for something like this? Our gratitude could never be measured. It is so deep.

I am attaching a song we’d like to share with you that WGAR in Cleveland put together after they interviewed us for their annual St. Jude radiothon back in early November. What a great place St. Jude is. Please keep all of the children and families there in your prayers and all children and families who suffer from lives touched by cancer.


I’d like to close with my favorite prayer from Mother Teresa that I try to say every day. All of you are such an example of what it is to radiate Christ. Thank you.

Dear Jesus, help me to spread Your fragrance
everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Your spirit
and love. Penetrate and possess my whole being
so utterly that all my life may only be
a radiance of Thee.

God bless all of you for making such a difference in our lives.

Love,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Saturday December 30, 2006

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!

It has been a month since we last posted. We have been busy. We have been spending a lot of time with our family this holiday and it has been great.

We have been very fortunate that Maria has gone a month without any problems. She had a great Christmas. We have been blessed. Maria has been in great spirits throughout this holiday season.

So many people have prayed and supported us and again we thank all of you. God bless you.

What have we been doing? Well, I am glad you asked. We have been doing a ton of research. We had some long and very informative conversations with some of the top doctors in this field. All of them continue to agree that this tumor is horrible and that there is no cure. (Really? Tell us something we don’t know.)

We studied extensively all the open clinical trials available today from the Pediatric Brain Tumor Consortium (PBTC) , the Children’s Oncology Group (COG), and the National Cancer Institute, just to name a few.

We decided to look into the PBTC – 0022 study which works with Avastin and Irinotecan as the next treatment for Maria. We talked with Dr, Gajjar at St. Jude and the study was not open there and would not be open until the end of January. We discussed getting started right away so we elected to go to the closest location that had the study open. That was Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. (It is very disappointing that the Cleveland Clinic and University Hospitals are not part of the PBTC and are not a Phase I or Phase II hospital in the COG. In other words, Cleveland is way behind the eight ball when it comes to pediatric brain tumors.)

So, off to Pittsburgh we went on December 21, 2006 for another MRI and possibly a PET scan and to start the Avastin treatment on Friday December 22, 2006. We met with a wonderful Dr. Reggie Jakacki. She is actively involved in the PBTC and knows Dr. Gajjar very well.

We discussed Maria’s condition and what effect the Avastin study would most likely have on Maria’s tumor. She confirmed what Dr. Gajjar had told us 3 weeks earlier, that it may give us a month or two more, but we should expect much more.

So, off to the MRI we went. Our appointment was at 10:45 am at the Presbyterian Hospital (connected to Children’s). It was at this point that we really missed St. Jude. Not only could Maria not eat a thing until her MRI, but they were running 2 ½ hours behind. How could someone be 2 ½ hours behind at 10: 30 in the morning????? Nevertheless, Maria was great and waited while drawing with mommy. After our MRI, we were to return to Children’s to discuss the results and the next day’s treatment and pending PET scan.

During the scan and weeks prior to this day, Megan and I have discussed every option and every scenario we could think of when if comes to Maria’s treatment. We have always wanted to make sure that quality of life for Maria is our number one priority. We had learned that this study was probably the best study of the ones currently available and that is why we were in Pittsburgh, but not being at St. Jude made a huge difference. Maria had become a patient and was no longer a child. Now, don’t get us wrong, they treated us very well at Presbyterian, but it wasn’t anything like the sedation team at St. Jude.

Some people have asked us how we could pack up our family and move to Memphis, TN for two months of treatment. Well, it has never been clearer. NOTHING CAN COMPARE TO ST. JUDE!! I could go on for hours discussing the differences.

Back to Children’s……4:30 rolls around and we return back to Children’s Oncology. We meet again with Dr. Jakacki to discuss the results. She said that it doesn’t look like the tumor has grown much if at all since the MRI 3 ½ weeks ago. This was great news.

We continued our discussion, only this time we spoke. We explained to Dr. Jakacki that though the treatment is supposed to be somewhat beneficial, we couldn’t justify to Maria and ourselves the gain. Irinotecan could cause hair loss, tumor hemorrhage, extremely low red and white blood cell counts. Why would we take her for a two hour ride 2 days every two weeks just to be in a strange place, get poked, prodded, touched, questioned and made uncomfortable for what is maybe an “extra month or two” of life. If you add all the days up of being in a hospital as a patient and not spending time being a child with your family, is there really a gain?

So, we left for home to enjoy a great Christmas. And Maria was happy again. And so were we.

So what is next you ask? Well, I’m glad you asked. We are not giving up. NO WAY. We continue to educate ourselves on all possible alternatives and are looking for the best options. We remain VERY hopeful and are trusting God to guide us.
We have looked at many things but we haven’t read or looked at everything. One thing that we really appreciate is when people email us or post information. Please don’t assume that we have everything or know everything about possible treatments. Assume we know nothing. Please continue to send information to us.

A perfect example is Dana Farber. We had a contact at Dana Farber and we talked with them when Maria was first diagnosed. The difference was we didn’t get to the top doctor at Dana Farber. Thanks to someone like you who really cares, we were able to get a meeting to discuss a lot of options for Maria. It was very helpful. Not to mention, we got to take Maria on a quick little trip to Boston for a fun evening of shopping with mom and dinning out with mommy and daddy.

If anyone knows someone at MD Anderson that would return a phone call, that would be great. We have called 4 times with no response. We just want to know what they are working on.

We would like to thank Dr. Gajjar of St. Jude for always being there for us. He is truly a great man. We would also like to thank Dana Farber, Children’s National in DC, Children’s Pittsburgh, and Children’s Memorial of Chicago. We appreciate everyone’s time and we will continue to keep in touch. Someone’s going to find the cure….soon.

Here is a tough question for you to think about. What do you say to a six year old girl that asks you if she is going to die and then tells you she is afraid to die because she doesn’t want to be without her mommy? Keep in mind that Maria still is not aware of her prognosis. How do you tell your six year old daughter what the doctors have said?

Please continue to pray for Maria and her strength. She is our miracle that is touching so many lives.

Thanks again for your support and may God Bless all of you.
Ed and Megan

Update as of Tuesday, November 28th

Hello Everyone,

Today was a very sad day. Maria’s tumor is no longer stable. It has grown and Maria is now considered in relapse. We hesitate to tell everyone because we don’t want anyone to give up hope or to stop praying. We have not given up hope and we never will…no matter what. This has been and will continue to be in God’s hands.

Currently Maria is happy. She is full of life and is feeling great. Her blood counts were actually quite good and she has not lost any motor skills of any type. Dr. Gajjar tells us that he expects she will start to show symptoms in the next few weeks and that she will not be with us much longer. He is predicting two to three more months.

We will say this. The more time we spend at St. Jude and the more we get to know the people here, the more we know Maria is in the best possible place in the world. We received strong words today and we look to God now, more than ever, to guide us.

It is much too early to tell you what our next steps will be. We don’t know. We will need some time to find out all the current relapse treatments available and then weigh the odds of what is best for Maria. This is not about what we want to do or what we might do; it is about making sure that we continue to give Maria the best quality of life possible.

Whether we have 2 months or 60 years, we live every day loving our daughter and thanking God for blessing us with our little Sunflower.

God bless.

Love,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Tuesday November 21, 2006

At first glance you’d think Ed and I don’t really have much to be thankful for this year. But actually, knowing that our circumstances weren’t His will, you can then see just how much Ed and I have to be thankful for. This year at this very important time we thank God for blessing us with the most wonderful children, family and friends. In our time of greatest need Ed and I can clearly see how God has reached out to us, to shelter and protect us. It is humbling to us how much He shows us that He loves us.

Each one of our children is such a tremendous blessing and how incomplete our lives would be without a single one of them. This is Blake’s first Thanksgiving and how much joy we feel to have him here with all of us. Each one of our children was born and blesses our lives for a purpose.

We thank God for his presence each day knowing that no matter what our challenges may be, He assures us of eternal happiness one day. We thank Him for the comfort of knowing this.

We thank God through thanking each one of you for being in our lives this year. Your prayers and your support have been a constant reminder to us of God’s presence. Thank you for your love.

We please ask that as you gather together with loved ones to Thank God for all that He has given you this Thanksgiving that you please remember Maria in your prayers and our trip to St. Jude next week.

Ed and I and the children wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. You are all in our prayers in a special way on this very special day.

With the most heartfelt love,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Monday November 13, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Again time goes by too quickly. Everyday I think about what it could be like for Maria to have a life without cancer. What is the trick to getting by everyday? Everyday I wake up and ask God to help me get through just one more day.

Megan always tells me that we need to always believe, without any thoughts or reservations, because if we, her parents, don’t believe for Maria then who will. Well, I want Megan and everyone in the world to know that I have not and I will never stop believing that Maria is going to get the miracle. She is already our miracle!

Because of our miracle, Maria, we have met so many kind, loving, and caring people. Right from the beginning, hundreds of people came forward to help us out. I can tell you that I wish I could look each and every one of you in the eye and tell you personally how much we truly appreciate your kindness. Everyday someone does something for Maria.

I will tell one story. A gentleman we have never met, heard about Maria’s story. He is an over the road hauler. We’ll call him “Trucker”. Trucker organized a “Poker Run” to benefit Maria. Here was a man that didn’t know us and he put together an entire event for our daughter. I also found out that he took a week off of work to organize the final details. HE TOOK A WHOLE WEEK OFF OF WORK for someone he didn’t know and never met for this event . Our friend had only six weeks to put together the event. 100 riders later, it was a success.

Trucker called me to meet up with him after the event. I went and met up with him and I really enjoyed meeting him. I will tell you that God put him into our lives for a reason.

Toward the end of our meeting, Trucker turned to me and said that he was sorry that he didn’t get more people at the run and that next year we will have over 500 bikers. (Next year?) He said that he will try and do it every year for Maria. WHAT??? Here is a man that works hard every day to provide for his family and he is apologizing to me for not having a large turn out. And that every year he will work for Maria??.. You see, this is the miracle of Maria. Thanks Trucker and everyone who went on the Poker Run for Maria.

OK, one more story. – A former babysitter of friends of ours is now a teacher at Sts. Cyril and Methodius school in Lakewood. Their school participates in the St. Jude Mathathon every year. This year she wanted to put a local spin on the fun and more. She contacted us and asked us to get involved. We agreed. They told all the kids about Maria and asked them to pray for her. We donated some bracelets to them to help raise money for St. Jude. The bracelets were a hit!

The best thing for us is that we get another whole school knowing about Maria and PRAYING for her. Every week a class sends a bunch of letters to Maria telling her to stay strong and get better. They are all praying for the miracle. The last class sent a picture of all the kids raising their hands. We thought it was cute. But after we looked again, we noticed the Prayers For Maria wristbands on every kid's wrist. That is inspiring! God bless you Sts. Cyril and Methodius School!!

Well, let’s get on with the most important thing in the world, Maria.

Maria was Minnie Mouse for Halloween. She looked so cute. Even her Minnie Mouse shoes. She loved wearing it and loved trick or treating.

Maria has been going to school, dance, Brownies, and more. She and her mother just returned from Chicago and a visit to the American Girl Doll Store. They saw the American Girl Doll Show and ate at the American Girl Doll Café. But that was not Maria’s favorite part of the trip…nope. Her favorite part of the trip was sitting in mom’s lap on a carriage ride around downtown Chicago. Maria and her mom are best friends. That is awesome. Megan always talked to me about wanting to take Maria shopping on a girls’ weekend in Chicago when Maria becomes a teenager. Well, good for mom to do it earlier. It is now officially an annual event.

Thursday night was Maria’s teacher conference. Her teacher Mrs. Kascak is awesome. She watches over Maria and does everything she can to make Maria’s school life normal. That is all Maria and we want. NORMAL. Maria just wants to be like everyone else in her class. And right now she is. Mrs. K told us a story about Maria that I really want to share. I hope I remember it the same way. Apparently, Maria and the classmates were talking about ghosts around Halloween time and some students mentioned how they don’t ever want to die. Then Mrs. K told us that Maria spoke up and said “I’m not afraid to go to heaven. Heaven is a great place.”

That broke my heart, again. She is so angelic when I look into her eyes. She knows something that we don’t. Is it that she is a walking miracle? She knows why she is here; I wish I knew why I was here.

Maria’s blood count is growing stronger and we have anxiety about her next MRI scan. We go down to St. Jude the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, November 28, 2006. Keep the prayers coming.

Also, we want to thank WGAR 99.5 radio station for spending two whole days airing the St. Jude Radiothon. Maria, Megan, and dad got to go and tour the radio station and do some promos for the Radiothon. They even put together an entire song/story using Tim McGraw’s “My Little Girl” song. Made me cry….again. We also went live on the radio last Thursday to talk about Maria’s story and how St. Jude has made a difference in our lives. It is a place you should love to give to, but never have to go. Well, go to http://www.wgar.com/ to see the photos and send Chuck Collier an email to say thanks. He is truly a caring man!

I will try and tell more stories in future posts if I can remember all of them. There are just so many people that have helped us and prayed so hard for Maria. We are still sending out thank you cards from 4 months ago. We are really behind. Thanks again for your love and support.

God Bless
Ed and Megan

Update as of Monday October 16, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Thank you for being patient. We have been traveling quite a bit. We will try to keep you updated more frequently going forward. We know how many of you are concerned about Maria and pray for her each day and for that we are so grateful.

After our last trip to St. Jude’s I had a very difficult time. Everything seemed to collide at once and I lost my footing. For the first time we met another child at St. Jude’s with Maria’s diagnosis and they just found a spot on her spine. She is five and was diagnosed in December. Her mother and I talked and she expressed all too familiar frustrations with me. All I could think about was Maria is just a few months behind this beautiful little girl’s diagnosis date. After that we met with Maria’s oncologist about her MRI, which was “stable”. Not what we had hoped for. A subsequent review of Maria’s MRI by Ed and me later showed a slight increase in the size of the tumor, though it is still considered to be stable. Again we heard Maria’s oncologist saying to us “take this time now and enjoy it with her”. It was ripping me apart and I just started to slowly unravel. The days are passing and we need to be more aware of Maria’s symptoms. This thought caused panic inside of me. I felt myself starting to walk down the dark path where there is no hope. I let myself become overwhelmed.

On the plane ride back from St. Jude’s Ed and I were filled with sadness. I felt awful inside. But, in the midst of this, I look down at Maria and it struck me that she was the complete opposite of me. Laughing as she drew mustaches on people’s faces in the in-flight magazine. I was comforted knowing she was untouched by the trip. Living in the moment. Things are great now. Why are we worrying about tomorrow? When we do that we waste our here and now that is going very well. This is something I know, but I have to keep constantly reminding myself--over and over again. Be more like a child.

Each time I found myself in a situation where I was asked about Maria, I just broke down. I didn’t want to do that so I just avoided contact with people. I couldn’t talk to friends or family members because it was too painful to talk about. For the first time ever I started to question if there was a God and I asked Mother Teresa “if He is there—show me.” I can’t go on like this anymore.

Some of my most cherished moments with Maria are at the end of the day. She and I say prayers (we pray for all of you). She tells me about her day, jokes around with me and we laugh and chit chat about silly things. One night I was putting Maria to bed and she looked up at me and said, “You know Mom, no one ever really dies. They just go to sleep and when they wake up they are in heaven.” Yes, Maria. You’re so smart. I smile and tell her that is true. Then she asks me whether or not I know if there are Polly dolls in heaven. I love my girl. Then I think and realize that we really do need to be more like children to enter into God’s kingdom. They just trust and believe so innocently and they are so much happier and content for it. They are so close to Him.

There is something about Maria. I can’t quite describe it. She is very much a six-year-old girl, but I can’t help but see there is a beauty and a depth to her of the likes I have never seen before. I see it and I can’t help but know that there is a God because He has His arms around her and I don’t only see it, I feel it. There is a presence about her.

Though I feel good that He is with her, I am also frightened because I don’t want Him to take her away from me. I know that I have to let go and trust in Him. It isn’t easy for me. I know it is what I have to do. I’m still working on letting go. Being more like a child.

I don’t know if I’ll ever discover that day when I feel complete peace and acceptance, maybe not until I’m at my final resting place, but I know that I have to try. Maybe this is the struggle of our earthly life.

Wouldn’t you know it would be just like God to remind me of His presence through my own daughter, not to mention SO many of you. How could I ever question it?

I meet every other week with some of the strongest and most wonderful women I know. We study the teachings of the Church and what it means for us as wives and mothers. These are my Familia sisters. I call them sisters because I feel so close to them. They have helped remind me of God’s presence more than they probably even know. They give me so much strength.

I have another friend who sends me cards frequently to let me know she hasn’t forgotten and that she continues to pray for us. I’m beginning to think she has e.s.p. because they seem to come when I most need them. The thoughtful gifts, the prayer shawls and quilts made by loving hands from some of you we have never even met. A priest named Fr. Tim who is truly touched by the Holy Spirit. He speaks and reaches so many people. If you haven’t been to one of his masses you don’t know what you’re missing (don’t want to put any pressure on him or anything :). A neighbor and friend who started Wednesdays for Maria where they go to 9:15 mass and pray the rosary afterward (it’s at St. Raphael’s and you’re all welcome!). Another friend who organized Adoration for Maria who has been such a comfort to me so many times. Another friend who has vigorously helped me work out a healthy regimen for Maria. Friends who have given us of what they have—their vacation home so we could get away and spend quality time together as a family. Friends who organized Maria’s Benefit and 5K run. The Teamsters and their poker run for Maria. A photographer who offered to take our family picture for us. Students who pray for her daily. Kind people who come up to me or stop me just to tell me that they pray for Maria and our family every day. The list goes on and on.

How could I ever question the presence of God? He has revealed Himself to us now more than ever before in our lives. All I have to do is look into the eyes of my daughter or at any of you and I see Him.

So I have gone from very dark to very determined. I am not giving up. I’m back on my feet and I’m channeling the positive energy. As I’ve mentioned before, Ed and I have been praying and asking God to guide us. We have talked about how we can do more. So we are going to and we will tell you more about this later.

Disney. Yes we went to Disney for Maria’s “Make-A-Wish”. What a fun trip that was. We really had a great time. We stayed at a place called “Give Kids the World” and it really is a wonderland all for kids facing difficulties like Maria’s. Maria had her picture taken with all of the princesses and characters and enjoyed the Disney thing, but I noticed that what she liked most of all was just hanging out and being able to laugh and have fun with her family. I think the quality time meant the most to her and it did for me too. The simple things.

Dance. Maria is taking dance with her close friend across the street and some other friends from school. She has always wanted to take dance and the physical therapist said it would be a great idea and she was right because Maria LOVES it! She’s got the groove in her!

So, life is good.

We thank you all for your continued prayers for Maria.

With much love,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Friday September 8, 2006

Hello Everyone,

We are back from Memphis! Maria, Mom, Dad and little Blake all went while Eddie and Aidan stayed back to hold down the fort. Maria was great. Everyone was so happy to see her. We got the MRI and it shows that the tumor has not grown and that it is stable. That is great news. We would have like to have seen it disappear, but stable is the next best thing. Our next scan is scheduled for the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. And boy do we have a lot to be thankful for, let me see……………..

Anyways, Maria is back in school and just loving her new teacher. She does her homework every night. School is one thing that she truly loves. She gets up every morning so excited to run to the bus stop and jump on the bus.

She keeps asking me how many days until Disney……yep, we are going to go and we are going to make it the best time in our lives. The boys are going to start preschool soon and are very excited as well.

Time is going by too fast…..I wish I could just press a button and make time stop, just for 50 years or so……

Someone asked me the other day if I “made a deal with the devil yet” in regards to Maria….I laughed because I knew it was a joke, but I did respond. “He hasn’t called me yet, but when he does, I would make that deal in a heartbeat”.

This has made me think….I would never sell my soul for anything in the world, but my daughter would be the closest thing. Besides that, there isn’t anything I wouldn't give to save my Maria.

Father Tim said in the video, which when I first saw it, it was the first time I heard it, he said, “who are we to deprive someone from Heaven, when it is ultimately the place we are all trying to get to?” Which I agree, but as I think harder and more selfishly, I think, “I would never want to stop my Maria from going to Heaven, but I really do want to delay her trip. Not because I don’t want her to go there and be with God, but more out of the fear that I may not go there and then I may never see her again. And that is what I fear the most; never seeing my Maria again.

It is times like this that so many people think about their faith and the relevance and question the validity of all of it. This too is unknown and this too is hard. All I keep asking is for everyone’s prayers that our Maria will be with us for a long time and that if God ever does decide to take her I hope that he thinks about taking me with her.

Please continue to pray and know that we love and thank all of you for your continued support.

God Bless,
Ed and Megan

Update as of Wednesday August 30, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Where is the time going? Our trip to Hilton Head is over, school has begun and our trip to St. Jude is right around the corner. Anxiety builds as you keep trying to shake it off. Where did summer go?

Our trip to Hilton Head was so precious. It went too fast. Nothing to do was staring us in the face and time with our children was all we had. It had its moments of craziness, but that’s really what makes it all so great. We have to thank our wonderful friends out there and a few other people who wish to remain anonymous for making this vacation possible for us. We love you. You can’t know the depths of what this has meant to us.

School is here and now Maria is gone from 8 until 4. I miss her during the day. The day seems so long. I have to remember that even though I miss her it is what she is so excited about. She loves school and she couldn’t wait to get on the bus and go. Time is passing so quickly. I try to remember “today—just live in today”. It’s difficult sometimes, but I’m trying very hard. Sometimes when you are living in “today” things come your way that quietly remind you that all is not what it once was. Little things in daily life that never caused me to blink an eye before now bring gentle reminders. Maria tells me something funny and I don’t ever want to forget it. I stop and tell myself “don’t forget that Megan”. I watch her as she plays with her cousins and I ask myself “will they always remember this?”. “Will they be ok if something happens to her?”, “will they always remember her if…”. Sometimes it is as if my heart tries to give me a reality check. “Don’t get too comfortable. Remember to pray. Always pray. Maria still has this beastly tumor”. I don’t like to be reminded but it is as if my heart is preparing me not be completely shocked and hurt—just in case. Like I said to Ed in the beginning, “our lives are now forever changed—no matter what the outcome.”

We attended a good friend’s wedding on Saturday and I found myself unexpectedly getting choked up. At first you think it will be great to see all your old friends and get together and have a good time. Then, in the midst of it, you look at the bride and groom and you see what a beautiful thing weddings are and then the reality check hits. Will I be able to be at Maria’s wedding someday? Then the tears come to my eyes. I can’t think about these things. I can’t go down that road.

I started talking with two very good friends at the wedding. We had a conversation about God and faith. My one friend said that if anything happens to Maria she will be done. She will never ever forgive God. I don’t want anyone to feel this way. This isn’t God’s fault, and, like someone commented on earlier on this site, sometimes we can’t see the picture the way God sees it. What I do believe is that God listens to our prayers. We can’t stop praying for Maria. We have to ask God to intercede for her. I believe a miracle can happen. My hope is unshaken. One thing my friends did say is they pray now more than they ever have and that Maria’s situation has changed their lives in such wonderful positive ways. I love to hear this. This is what is so good about all of this, and I just love to hear the good (now if I could just get them to attend Church!). No matter what the outcome, this goodness should continue in the lives of everyone who has been affected by this. The last thing I would want to see is only bad produced from this tragedy. Continuing on with the changes it has made in your life is positive and good and we need that to grow, not end. And, don’t worry, there are great things in store for Maria and I know the world will come to know how special she is. Already God has done so much through her for so many of us.

Ed and I were talking about how beautiful and wonderful Maria is as we so often do, and it struck us that Maria is the glue that keeps this family together so well. She is in the center of our family picture and it occurred to me how appropriate that really is. The boys look up to her so much and Ed and I adore her.

Our Make a Wish trip to Disney is coming up. We don’t have a fierce agenda of things we have to run and do. Our agenda will be simply to enjoy ourselves and make the most of this special time together.

Wednesday, September 6th, 12 noon at St. Raphael’s there will be a rosary for Maria. Please mark your calendars and show up for this. It is only about 20 minutes of your time and we really need your beautiful sincere prayers for our daughter. Please try to show and if you are unable to, please say a rosary or have a quiet prayer for her. We will leave that day for St. Jude’s and her MRI and appointments will be the next day on the 7th. Please keep her in your prayers always, but if you could say extra prayers on those two days that would be so appreciated by us. We just so believe in the power of prayer and what it can do.

Thank you for your continued prayers for Maria.

Love,
Ed and Megan

Adoration for Maria

Are you willing to give an hour of your time to spend in Adoration of Our Lord to pray for Maria? St. Raphael’s parish holds weekly adoration on Friday’s from 10:00 am until Saturday at 8:00am in the side chapel. On Friday, September 1st, we would like to have every hour of adoration filled with at least one person to pray for Maria. This day is significant as Maria’s next MRI will be the following Thursday, September 7th.

Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament is such a powerful form of prayer. Mother Teresa noticed more vocations to her order when an hour of daily adoration was added to their prayers.

Let’s give Maria and her family our best effort of prayer before returning to St. Jude’s. Let’s make sure Christ continues to hear us. Let’s make a difference.

If you are interested, please email Lori Gentzel or call 440-777-2884. Please indicate a time preference in your message (ex. 12-1 pm on Friday).

Thank you so much and God Bless.

Lori

Open House for Maria

You’re invited to an Open House to benefit Maria McNamara and St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital!

• When: Thursday, August 10th
• Time: 3-5 PM and 7-9 PM
• Where: Betsy Kaiser’s Home
• Address: 1463 Fitzroy Street, Westlake
  (In Victoria Estates off of Columbia b/w Detroit & Hilliard)
• Children welcome!
• RSVP ASAP at (440) 892-7655 or betsyk@mac.com

Get a step ahead on your shopping needs FEATURING:

• Sheila Bee Designs by Sheila Becker
  Adorable head bands for girls in a variety of colors and patterns
• Usborne Books with Linda Donnelly
  Books to expand a child’s world through education and imagination! With over 1,300 titles to choose from, there is something for all ages.
• Silpada Designs with Niki Harbeitner
  Beautiful sterling silver jewelry from the collections of Silpada
• Well Done Catering by Liz Sfeir
  Light refreshments while you shop!
• Such Fun Stuff by Jen Joyce
  Personalized papers.
  

Unable to attend, but would like to support Maria? Give a call or place your orders online:

• For Usborne books please go to www.childrensfavoritebooks.com
  (Click on eshows for Maria McNamara)
• For Silpada please go to www.mysilpada.com/niki or call Niki at (440) 756-5611 or e-mail her at sterlingniki@comcast.net
• For Such Fun Stuff please go to www.SuchFunStuff.com or e-mail info@suchfunstuff.com or phone Jen at (440) 937.FUNN
  

Profits and books earned will go directly to help Prayers for Maria and the children of St. Jude

The Miracle of Maria

Hello Everyone, We decided we would like to share the video from Maria's Benefit with all of you. Ted Gordon put the video together and did such a wonderful job. Thanks Ted. We would also like to thank everyone who worked on and participated in the 5k and Fun Run. Linda Sheehan, you are such a beautiful person and your work on this is so very appreciated. The event had a turnout of 462 people! Thank you all so much for caring about our family. Please remember to keep Maria in your prayers each and every day. God Bless, Ed and Megan

5K Fun Run and 1M Walk is This Weekend!

It's not too late to go! There will be onsite registration for last minute entries - make your plans now. The specifics of the event are as follows:

• Date: Saturday, July 29, 2006
• Time: 8:00 AM
• Place: Bay Presbyterian Church, Great Hall, 25415 Lake Road, Bay Village, OH 44140
• Map: Click here
  
• Cost: 5K run - $20, 1 mile walk - $15
• Registration form: Click here

Update as of Monday July 24, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Maria drew me a beautiful picture today. She draws me beautiful pictures every day. It’s funny how much more I cherish her artwork than ever before. I always loved to get pictures from her, but now I take the time to appreciate them more. Why didn’t I before? She draws such beautiful pictures of her and me doing all sorts of things together…riding on our bikes, playing in the snow, playing ball outside. She makes me feel so very loved. I make it a point to spend as much time with her as I can without it seeming strange to her. There are many times, though, when she is playing outside or somewhere in the house and I just want to go to her and watch her, be close to her, listen to her, love her. I don’t want to disturb “normalcy” for her though, so I try not to be too obvious.

Last week I did something I don’t usually do. I ventured to a website of another child who had what Maria has. Trent went to heaven on April 3rd of this year. He reminded me a lot of Maria. Not just in symptoms but in other things. He brought joy to his entire family. His Mom wrote about how she would hold him at night. He would flip his legs up over her’s and ask her questions about heaven. She would answer his questions and tell him what a wonderful place heaven is. Then he would drift off to sleep as his Mom quietly cried. This reminds me a lot of Maria and me. I could feel what was in this Mother’s heart and I cried. Since being diagnosed, especially in the beginning, Maria often asked me about heaven. Kids are really so wise. She could see herself deteriorating in the beginning and though not a word was spoken about what might be she asked the questions it pains your heart and soul to hear. Her sixth sense was still functioning just fine. What I thought particularly lovely about my Maria is she associated death and heaven with Jesus. She asked me, with such fear, if she would have to be nailed to a cross like Jesus in order to go to heaven. My heart broke and I could barely gather the strength inside to tell her with a reassuring face that “no, of course not. Jesus did that for us so we wouldn’t have to”. What I thought to myself though is how Maria really is so much like Him. She is bearing her own cross. What Ed and I would give to take that away from her. Sometimes I worry. I try not to because I know worry and anxiety are not productive. I worry that I have to try so hard to be a better person. I think this for a couple of reasons. If I could just be better maybe that would help Maria. Maybe God would reward my “good behavior” by sparing her life. If not, maybe it could shorten my time in purgatory so I would be able to get to heaven sooner to be with her if she goes first. Because I know she will go straight to heaven. I told my wonderful friend and neighbor when Maria was first diagnosed that I had to go first because she will just be too scared to go alone, and I need to be there for her.

There is so much good here. Let’s focus on the good. Let’s focus on Christ. I have seen the face of Christ more times in the past few months than ever before. I see Him in so many of you. Your kindness, your prayers, your love. It is overflowing and that is SO good and so positive about all of this. Ed and I have been given a great gift from God through all of this pain. I really feel He is so very close to us now. We are so thankful to Him for the graces He has given to us. He has blessed us tremendously. After Maria’s last MRI Ed and I talked about the fact that we have been given a great responsibility and we must respond to that. We are praying about it and following Him on the journey He is leading us on. All of you are part of this journey. We are all so very blessed. Let’s pray that His will be done.

Maria is just so beautiful. One day I walked into the kitchen and saw a picture taped to the window. It is a picture that Maria drew of herself and her Guardian Angel, Daisy. She wrote “Me and Daisy” at the top of it. Daisy, please watch over her well. I would love to share all of her pictures with all of you. Many of you have your own little artists at home. I know you know my Maria when you look into the eyes and hearts of your own children. No wonder Jesus loved the little children. They are all so beautiful. I try to stop and soak in all that beauty each day. When you do, nothing else earthly seems quite so urgent to get to as it did before. I realize the gift of time. The gift of today. I’m thankful for that. As Mother Teresa said, "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

Thank you all for your continued prayers for Maria.

Love,
Ed and Megan