Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Update as of Wednesday June 28, 2006
Today we leave for St. Jude. As most of you probably know, Maria needs to go back to St. Jude on a regular basis. Tomorrow we are getting an MRI done. We aren't expecting any great news since the tumor is expected to not shrink and maybe even grow a little, but we are hopeful.
Maria has been playing like a regular kid. She goes swimming with her friends; she runs in the yard, she even gets mad at her brothers. What a wonderful feeling that is...normal.
We realize that we will never see the "normal" that we once had. From now on, our "normal" will be different, and that is OK.
The toughest part about our new "normal" is not knowing how long it will last. Sometimes we feel we are sitting on an atomic bomb waiting to go off at any moment. We force ourselves to ignore the bomb and continue on with our lives as if nothing has changed.
So, we talk about who Maria's teacher might be next year, what classes she is going to take, if she is going to play soccer or not.....even the boys are talking about school. We are planning a trip to Hilton Head at the end of August and of course the all important Disney trip at the end of September. Too hot and too crowded to go any earlier.
So, that is our new normal. It sounds great and we’ll take it.
As for Maria's health, she feels good and her blood counts seem OK, but we will know a better once we see all our old friends at St. Jude.
One quick story that reminded us that our normal is now different. Maria came to us one day and said that she was told by one of her friends that she needed to be careful on the neighbor’s trampoline because of her tumor. She told us that she told her friend that she didn't have to be careful because her tumor was gone......"It is gone isn't it mommy?" That was a difficult moment. Mommy had to explain that the tumor wasn't gone "yet" but we are praying that it will go away soon. So much for normal.
It is hard to sit on this bomb having no idea if or when it is going to explode. As we were telling some guests just yesterday, we are perfectly content to live in our world not thinking about or just ignoring that there is a bomb. What choice do we really have?
Well, we have to go catch a plane now. Hello Memphis!
One last item...please don't forgot to pray for Maria....Statistically, that is all we have. Even if you don't normally pray, please pray tomorrow around 10 am. That is when Maria will be getting her MRI, which is the hardest part for Maria because they put her to sleep and it is frightening for her. Pray at your desk, in the car, say the rosary, anything. We believe that every little prayer helps....thanks
Ed and Megan